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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27087718">The Time Lord’s Handbook to Regenerations</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyNovembertina/pseuds/LadyNovembertina'>LadyNovembertina</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doctor Who, Doctor Who &amp; Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, The Doctor somehow inspires his own manual</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-09 02:47:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>838</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27087718</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyNovembertina/pseuds/LadyNovembertina</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After all, not all Time Lords are as irresponsible as the Doctor. <br/>Heavily inspired by the time the Eleventh Doctor disagreed with the TARDIS's instruction manual so much that he threw it into a supernova. With the way the Doctor's regenerations go, the Doctor's regeneration manual must have met a similar fate.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Time Lord’s Handbook to Regenerations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Note: Due to the events of the Time War, certain key parts of this handbook are missing or redacted for the safety of Gallifrey as decreed by the High Council of the Time Lords. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Congratulations! You have just reached the end of your first regeneration cycle. Due to circumstances of :</span>
</p>
<ul>
<li><span>Fatal injury</span></li>
<li><span>Old age</span></li>
<li><span>Energy trauma to cells of your body</span></li>
<li><span>Boredom</span></li>
<li><span>Excessive risk-taking</span></li>
<li><span>Treason / Any other crime punishable by death under Handbook eéui-A3</span></li>
</ul>
<p>
  <span>Your body has begun to undergo the process of Time Lord regeneration. First, to make sure that you are able to undergo this process in the safest and most efficient manner (specifically to avoid injury to the surrounding life organisms near you as well as the vortex of time) please fill out the following checklist:</span>
</p>
<ol>
<li><span>Are you having flashbacks of your most current life and those important to you at a speed of 2 frames/second?</span></li>
<li><span>How does your injury rate on a scale of 1 to 34? (Note: any injury above 23 is sufficient)</span></li>
</ol>
<p>
  <b>REDACTED</b>
</p>
<ol>
<li><span>   When hopping on your left foot, is your mouth tingling? (Note: if you don’t have a left foot, hopping on your right thumb is also acceptable)</span></li>
</ol>
<p>
  <span>If yes, please enter your TARDIS(</span>
  <span>Time And Relative Dimension In Space</span>
  <span>) and proceed on the nearest route to Gallifrey. Don’t worry, your body is just undergoing spontaneous combustion and will likely disintegrate before reaching your destination.</span>
</p>
<ol>
<li><span>   Are you dying? </span></li>
<li><span>   Are there any remaining threats in your vicinity? </span></li>
</ol>
<p>
  <b>REDACTED</b>
</p>
<ol>
<li><span>   Do you suddenly want to eat a pear?</span></li>
<li><span>   Place your finger on your middle nose (if you have more than one) and twirl clockwise three times. Are you still alive? </span></li>
</ol>
<p>
  <b>REDACTED</b>
</p>
<ol>
<li><span> If you have actually numerically proceeded through the entire checklist and reached this question, then you are not regenerating. Better luck next time!</span></li>
</ol>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After completing the checklist, you have reached the critical stage! Calmly, (yes, calmly), extend your arms to 91.3 Earthen degrees from your torso. Once you feel the regeneration energy being converted from your body’s chemical processes, let it flood you in a steady stream. In no way are you to push it all out in an impactful burst to rival a protean blast. In no way are you to conduct the process in the company of complex organisms that don’t have a shell of metal armour around them as part of their biology. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>General rule of thumb: seeing actual golden light emitted from the regeneration energy is a major indication that you have delayed the process for too long. If you have continued trouble with this phenomenon, please attend the Gallifreyan seminar. Your TARDIS is preprogrammed to take you to the date. Safeguards are in place 18 hours a day to prevent any temporal imbalances caused by two versions of you being in the same place at the same time. Please get there as soon as you can: provided you don’t meet a fiery permanent death in a crash, get caught up in fighting the Atraxi, Sycorax, or cyborgs. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Provided you meet with minor dismemberment in the first 15 hours of your regeneration, you will possibly be able to regrow the aforementioned limb. However, this is not a recommended solution as side effects include but are not limited to: excessive risk taking, PTSD, dismembered limb used as a tracking device, dismembered limb growing a new hybrid you, etc. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>ESPECIALLY don’t conduct this process when you are feeling emotions that include sadness, anger, resentment, torment, euphoria, nostalgia, or any of the above combined. If you have trouble easing your mind, please consult the Tardis Emergency Manuel ^6*&amp;-0E. Failure to do so will result in STRICT consequences. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It is not recommended to conduct your regeneration inside a closed space such as the console of a TARDIS. Although past studies have found that doing so may have the positive effect of recalibrating your TARDIS, unpleasant side effects include (and are not limited to): crashing into a planet, crashing into a moon, crashing into an asteroid, crashing into any other celestial body, crashing into the limits of time, crashing into life organisms, crashing into Gallifrey, crashing into a Dalek (which would be acceptable), crashing into… you get the point. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the event that you ignore any of the steps in this manual and somehow crashland, in no way are you to immediately engage with local life organisms whether they range from the friendly (Scottish redheaded girl) and DEFINITELY not the hazardous (attacking Christmas trees or dinosaurs) for a minimum of 48 hours. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Gallifrey Stands!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Warning: Failure to adhere to this manual will result in strict consequences such as Time Lord license being revoked and TARDIS confiscated. If you mess up on a large enough scale, you’ll be granted the dubious honour of having your exploits placed in this manual for future generations. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Message specifically for the Doctor: You have been warned. Time Lord resources division (Time Lord equivalent of HR) will be on you as soon as you land (*crashland, who are we kidding?) onto Gallifrey. We’re tired of your bull****. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is my first time really delving into the Doctor Who fandom, so any nice comments or feedback would be duly appreciated!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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